Guest Post – Long Distance Longing, Part 2

My dear friend Ani LeClerc read my post on long distance love yesterday, and pointed out a missing element.  Here it is, straight from her (ever so delectable) mouth:
Anitya Leclerc -

Ani Leclerc’s devastating hotness. See more at!

So recently the wonderful Seven Dates a Week wrote a post about long-distance relationships that was about as great as you might expect. Except, she left out one glaring issue: the sex. Just how DO you develop and maintain a sexual connection over a distance? It’s definitely a challenge, but as a professional cam girl who’s had lots of long-distance fun, for work and for play, I am here to help!

1. Get supplies.

Staying in touch in the modern age—especially staying in sexual touch—requires a certain level of telecommunications tech to be maximally enjoyable. You will need a reasonably fast computer (you want one of those anyway, though, right?), and broadband internet (but none of us are on dialup anymore). You’ll want an HD webcam and video recording software—even if you’re shy, and we’ll get to that later. You’ll also probably want some audio recording software. Anything that does voice memos, like maybe your smartphone, will do. Sign up for a cloud storage provider like Dropbox so you can easily share large files. You will thank me later for suggesting you get a wireless headset for hands-free phone calls. Download and install Skype. I don’t like to recommend specific products or software, but trust me on this one: no other program is as readily available and also as reliable and easy to use for video calling.

2. Turn on your imagination.

OK, so you can’t have physical sex with your long-distance partner, at least, not as often as you’d like. But you can certainly tell each other all about all the things you would do, or actually will do, as soon as you see each other next. (As per SDAW’s post, you’ve got a plan, right?) If you’re shy, you can start in email or chat and maybe work up to a phone or Skype session. As you get more comfortable with each other, you should absolutely bust out the sex fantasies you’ve been too shy or lazy to share with local partners in the past. Talking about something especially intense, like a super hot and dirty fantasy, can make even ordinary instant messages the hottest thing that have happened to you in years. When you finally get to see each other in person, you’ll have worked yourselves up to the kind of properly mind-blowing fuckstravaganza that long-distance lovers deserve.

3. Discover your inner pornographer.

Filthy emails and sexts, dirty pictures, or recorded audio and video serve several purposes in a long-distance relationship. Having trouble sharing your fantasies? It can be easier to put it in an email. Does the thought of phone sex intimidate you? Why not practice by recording yourself having an orgasm while telling your partner what you’re thinking about? Your partner’s positive reaction to your naughty MP3 might give you the confidence boost you need to move on to something more interactive. Even if you’re already a full-blown exhibitionist like me, making porn for your long-distance partner is a great solution for those of us who are thwarted not only by distance, but also by time zones. (I live 9 hours ahead of my current love interest, and I lived 13 hours ahead of a previous boyfriend!) It can be hard to find the time to play together, but you can still inspire and tease one another by trading porn—written, audio, and visual.

4. Learn each other’s bodies.

It can be hard to have great sex in long distance relationships, because we just don’t have the same amount of time to touch, explore, and experiment with our partner’s bodies the way we would if we were dating someone local. If you haven’t met in person before (just hit it off online), the first time you see each other can be incredibly scary because of this, especially if you want to jump straight to all the sex you haven’t been having. However, if you followed my advice and got Skype + a high-quality webcam, you can do a lot to get comfortable with your partner’s body from afar. Watching your partners (and showing off for them in turn) can teach you what gets each other off, as well as being incredibly hot to watch. When you do meet up, you’ll be so used to seeing each other naked on screen that it will almost be like you were together the whole time.

5. Fulfill your need for physical touch.

Whether your relationship is monogamous or polyamorous, expect that there are at least some needs you’re going to have to meet locally.  It’s possible to do a lot of getting off together, even at tremendous distances, and be quite sexually satisfied. However, recreating cuddles is damn near impossible. Don’t let the rest of your social network fall to pieces while you care for a long-distance relationship, because you’re going to want to hug your friends a lot. Go for it, because friends are awesome and so are snuggles.

All right, you modern sexual peregrines: go get it! Be safe, have fun, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

Anitya Leclerc - see more at!

Don’t do anything she wouldn’t do …

Isn’t she wonderful?  See more of her (a lot more) at her website or follow her on Twitter!  

Lust Leads to Love?

Sex on the first date – it seems like we want to have it much more often than we actually let ourselves have it.  New science says we should give in to those urges, though, and hey – who am I argue?!  Check out my post at Singles Warehouse for the lowdown.

I’ve long been an advocate of sex when you want to have it, be that first, fourth, or fourteenth date … and it’s always nice to discover you’ve been right all along.

Guest Spot: The Programmer himself

The Programmer enjoyed our encounter and my description of it here quite a bit, evidently.  Over the weekend, he wrote and sent me this delicious little bit of hotness, and I’m posting it here for you with his permission.  Do enjoy — I was driving while reading this, and well, let’s just say that my gratitude to the inventor of cruise control is renewed.


The chair, slick with over an hour’s worth of his exertion, let the man slide and squirm as much as allowed by the thick straps that held him roughly in place and open to his trainer’s cruel but necessary touch.  As the latest cycle of his seemingly interminable treatment completed, he howled into his gag and arched up in a vain bid to find the touch and the satisfaction that had been withdrawn from him at just the wrong time.

“These are important lessons you need to learn,” she leaned over and spoke into his ear just loudly enough to break through his own desperate moans, her tone one of compassion tempered by determination.  “This penis is not for your satisfaction.”  His desperate cries and squirms renewed while she watched a healthy rivulet of clear wetness start to ooze from his bouncing urethra.  “Not yours.”  She grabbed the base of his penis and drove the knuckle of her slick gloved thumb hard against the urethra to emphasize her point.

With the back of her other gloved hand she tenderly stroked the side of his head and neck.  “From now on, this penis is for suffering,” she reminded him.  He howled, driven less by the protest he could no longer easily find than by the pressure radiating out from his groin and behind his moist eyes.  After a few seconds to let it soak in, she continued, “And I need you to accept that,” accompanying her words with a single, slow, firm upward pull on his penis, ending just short of his glans.  Neither of them was sure whether, beneath his sobbing and restraints, he had nodded in acceptance.

Seconds later, her freshly lubed hand lightly encircled his stiff penis once again, inspiring a protest of muffled noes and restricted head-shakes.  The proud teacher smiled inwardly and began the next cycle.

If you like this bit of writing as much as I do, comment and say so.  Maybe we can convince The Programmer to write us some goodies more often!

From His Perspective

Just in case my previous post left you a little bit … wanting … here’s a steamy, sexy story from my friend Guiltless Miss that’s certain to satisfy.

If you’d like to read this story from the perspective of one of the ladies (and honestly, who wouldn’t?!), follow this link right on over to GM’s companion post on Singles Warehouse XXX:

One, Two, Threesome!


Interested in a threesome?  Then you’d be interested in my most recent post at Singles Warehouse XXX, telling you my three rules for threeways – anything else goes!

Threesomes are three times the pleasure, and everybody deserves that experience.

A Date with the Programmer


When you’re in this chair, I’m the boss.

The Programmer and I had plans for Sunday night, but I was in an awful mood.  I told him so over IM.  “Me too,” he admitted.  He suggested we meet in the middle for a hug and a grilled cheese sandwich.  Of course nobody ordered the grilled cheese.  And instead of just the hug, we headed right on back to his place.

I first met the Programmer on a dating site a few years ago, and I didn’t know it, but I was to learn all kinds of new things from him.  We went to bed together on our first date, and there was the first surprise: he wore a chastity device.  He produced a key, and in between sexy kisses and touches, he explained to me who kept his keys and why today was a very rare exception – he really should never keep one with him.  The Programmer didn’t do vanilla sex.  He wanted me in charge in every way.  He was my first submissive … and I wasn’t even a Domme yet!  The Programmer helped change that as we got to know each other, and I discovered that not only did I have quite a flair for domination – I was good at it! – but I enjoyed it thoroughly.  It turned me on to see him struggle against restraints; to watch him trying as hard as he could not to beg me; to then deny him any release at all.  I was a secondary partner of his; we saw each other every few weeks.  On the day he handed me his key to keep, I said casually while slipping it on a chain around my neck, “I’ve been thinking that perhaps it’s a good idea if you never orgasm with me.”  He moaned instantly in tortured arousal.  “Never,” I would whisper in his ear while we were out and about, and I’d feel him shiver at that single word.  We drifted apart but remained friends as things in our complicated polyamorous lives changed and changed again.  Circumstances were right for us to begin seeing each other again last year, and since then we’ve done some great  things for one another.  In fact, I’d say Sunday night was possibly our best work ever.

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Becoming a (SW)Sexpert

SDAWAlthough it’s a fair bet I’ve long since met the qualifications, now I have an official title as a sexpert.  Watch out – my first post for Singles Warehouse’s new XXX blog will be about threesomes.  For now, content yourselves with my intro post over there – and while you’re at it, check out some of the incredibly hot pieces that are already up!

These writers sure know how to get a lady hot, wet, and willing.

Booty Call Etiquette

A post from my friend SDDiva, regarding proper booty call etiquette. She has it exactly right.

Suzie the Single Dating Diva

Booty CallBooty Call-iquette?  What’s that?  Well, first let’s define the infamous “Booty Call” … not everyone knows what it is.  A “Booty Call” is a gratuitous sexual encounter with someone who you don’t want a real relationship with.  Typically, these occur late at night and originate in a middle of the night call or text from an ex or a lover looking to get a piece of your booty for some casual sex  Most people have encountered this, whether they take the bait or not is not important, but when you’re single and dating these events occur quite often.  When you’re not in a relationship, and have needs, it works for a while, but there are some essential things to keep in mind when engaging in Booty Call behavior … yes, there is a Booty Call-iquette.

Booty Call-iquette When You’re Single and Dating

The Good

Booty Calls work great for short-term…

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Mr. and Mrs. Marketer

Last night, I went to a birthday party at the bar, and at the end of the night, I went home with a tall handsome fella with tattoos of dragons, tarot and communist symbols all up and down his arms.  Four hours later, we were lounging in his bed, complimenting each other on a fine performance.  I snuck out his back door with my panties in my pocket and a smile on my face.  This morning, though – well, this morning I was in big trouble.

I knew the party would be a little awkward.  It was the Marketer’s husband’s birthday, and I dated both of them not too long ago.

I met Mr. Marketer through OKCupid, and he was upfront about the fact that he and his wife were considering but not decided on polyamory.  We had long, funny, intellectual email exchanges that became endless short clever texts.  And when he asked me to join him at the bar to watch the Tigers in the playoffs, I jumped at the chance.  When he walked me to my car that night after a Tigers win, he surprised me by pressing me up against my driver’s door and kissing me so perfectly I was breathless.  The next night, we yanked each other’s clothes off in the doorway of a dry cleaner outside the bar.  And then:  he texted just the same; but could never meet up.  I chalked it up to cold feet.

I met Mrs. Marketer at the neighborhood watering hole the night before Halloween.  She liked me.  A lot.  She immediately got in touch on Facebook to tell me so; and she suggested that I come on down to the same bar the next night for their Halloween party and meet her husband.  They had been considering polyamory, and …  I’m sure, dear readers, that you’ve already figured this one out.  But I didn’t, until that Hween party, where lo and behold, Mr. and Mrs. Marketer were there wearing a couples’ costume.  We laughed.  Mr. had told Mrs. he met a great girl and wanted to date her.  Mrs. had said, well, good, me too.  And of course, they were each talking about me.

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Double the Flavor, Double the Fun


While I try and get the rest of my life under control enough to post you some more good stuff (and believe me, there’s been lots of good stuff going on!), check out my post over at Singles Warehouse about being bisexual.

It really is twice as nice.

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